A Random Tale of Blarney the Purple Gungun
by MiralukaJedi
Summary: Full Title: A Completely Random Tale of Blarney the Purple Gungun and the Giant Jolly Togorian. Janson's prank war against the Rogues' chief mechanic takes a blast from the past with another visit from two ever popular youngling's characters. Blanket disclaimer of non-ownership.


18. Having completely illogical logic (e.g. [link= watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU ]The Holy Grail's "Witch Scene" [/link])

Your Quote:

3. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

A Completely Random Tale of Blarney the Purple Gungun and the Giant Jolly Togorian

There came a time in every mechanic's life when they had enough of a fighter pilot's antics. In the case of Ahsana Horn, those antics typically did not include the type of harassment and crude jokes, as well as attempts at being hit on that came with being a female mechanic on occasion. No, in her case, it came in the form of pranks- highly creative and never-ending pranks that drove her insane. Pranks that made her prank the offender and whatever co-conspirator he managed to rope into helping him do it. Used to be Hobbie, but that had changed when they started seeing each other just before the move to Hoth.

Now it was whatever noob was seconded to the Rogues that Janson conscripted into his never-ending campaign for Rogue prank supremacy. And it had only gotten worse since he had discovered something on the forest moon of Endor that inspired him like nothing else ever had. To put it bluntly, Wes Janson had discovered the joy of Ewoks. The end result was that he felt the need to share that joy with everyone else around him.

People were finding Ewok related paraphernalia everywhere: in their 'freshers, in their kits, in their closets, and everywhere else they could think of. Even a few places no one would think of, like the insides of their shoes or their helmets. Ahsana herself had even found a bunch of Ewok themed socks and hats stuffed into her tool kit- and everyone knew better than to touch her tool kit like that. All except for Wes Janson, who always seemed to think that he was an exception to this rule. One of his first pranks against her had involved him hanging her tools from the ceiling of a hanger bay, after all.

So, she had reached the end of her tether once again. She had had it, reached the end of her rope, and every other clichéd sort of remark that one could think of to describe being tired of annoying circumstances. And once again, she was contemplating doing on to him as he had done onto her so many times before. And wondering if it would ever work, again.

_It's having this kind of illogical logic that got you into this mess in the first place Bolts, and it's the kind of illogical logic that keeps you in it. _Hobbie had told her this many times and if he were here, he'd probably tell her that again.

But then, he wasn't here to tell her that this time, was he?

As he had once again messed with her tool kit, an oldie but a goody- Ahsana decided that warranted a trip into the past in what she would do to him. So, she thought of all the pranks that she had tried to use in the past to stop him, wracking her brain for the perfect way to finally stop him once and for all.

Her mind kept going back to one of the greatest pranks that she had ever played against him, the one with the most annoying younglings' characters ever created. Blarney the Purple Gungun, a large gangly thing who made most adults cringe and wish to throw themselves into the deepest chasms of the nearest eumencopolis they could find. Then, of course, one could not forget the Giant Jolly Togorian, who actually frightened some children due to the fierce nature of the sentient felines but proved incredibly popular nonetheless.

Mind you, she couldn't really do it quite the way that she had last time- with the holodiscs in the wrong cases to lull them into a false sense of security and the heavily modified holo player. There was no possible way that Janson could possibly be stupid enough to fall for the same trick twice, was there?

It had been a pretty good prank and there still were ways that she could change it up to freshen the whole scenario up a bit. She could use new holos and set the exchange/acquisition stage up more subtly than she had last time. Yes, yes- that would definitely do.

As it turned out, Ahsana did go ahead with the replay of her old prank of dubious and annoying younglings' holos and modified holo player. And she felt that she had chosen holos even more annoying and colourful than the ones she had subjected Janson and Hobbie to a few years ago. The only real difference was that this time, Hobbie wouldn't have to share in Janson's torment. That dubious honour fell to Avan Beruss, the son of an Illodian senator.

After Hobbie returned and came to visit his girlfriend, he was greeted by a scene that made him cringe a little. He was greeted by said girlfriend clearly assembling the makings of another prank against Janson. While grateful that he was no longer subject to 'Sana's special form of payback, he still didn't like it. Sometimes 'Sana's special form of payback still lead to him getting pranked- well, caught in pranks meant for her instead of him. That part, he definitely didn't like.

"Umm...are you doing what I think you're doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"If you're thinking, 'Oh no, she's doing it again!', then yes, that's exactly what I'm doing." She replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

He groaned. So it was everything that he feared and then some.

_Wonderful, just karking wonderful. I'm going to get covered in goo again or something much worse. Please, not the something worse. I might snap if it is the something worse. _He thought, trying to resist all temptation to say it out loud. He got enough trouble from the Imps trying to vape him in battle- he didn't need Bolts trying to vape him on the ground.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad. I teach Wes another lesson not to mess with my tools and hopefully this time, it actually sticks." She said with a grin, as if that smile would ease all of his fears in this case.

"You realise that this sort of illogical logic kinda perpetuates this whole thing to ridiculous proportions? And that it doesn't seem to take into account Wes' warped mind, right?" he reminded her, hoping finally, though likely futily, to knock some sense into her.

"Hope springs eternal, Hobbie. Hope springs eternal- that and I just get so ticked when he messes with my tools, well, I have to do something." She responded earnestly.

Rolling his eyes, he wished her luck anyhow and watched her merrily go along her way before groaning once more when she had left the room.

He was going to get slimed again, he just knew it.

Wes Janson was having the best day ever. Playing pranks with Ewoks, teaching the ways of the Rogues to the newest noob of the squadron, and all in all having everything go his way. And even better, Avan had turned out to be a decent pranker- a gem in the rough for all of Janson's pranking adventures. And the kid had the added bonus of thinking Ewoks were interesting little creatures- not to the degree of Wes' own obsession with them, sure- but still, it was a great thing.

And now, in his quarters, he found an ordinary looking holo player and a full set of one of his favourite holo series of all time, _Bonzo the Amazing Takes on the Universe_. The famed comedy trilogy was there and complete: _Bonzo Tours the Outer Rim, Bonzo in the Colonies _and the best of all, _Bonzo the Amazing takes on the Universe. _All with what looked to be a state of the art holo player. This was definitely shaping up to be a perfect day.

He then acted without thinking, not the first time that he had done that and it certainly wouldn't be the last. He placed the first holo into the player and sat back in with a bottle of Corellian whiskey (a gift from Wedge for his last birthday) to enjoy the official cap-off to his perfect day. A perfect way to relax before the next battle- Wes knew that was coming, it always was.

He sat back, clicking the remote and looked to enjoy his favourite holo series with a very good bottle of Corellian Whiskey. Then, it happened- again.

He had somehow been tricked into watching younglings' holos again. The gangly Blarney the Purple Gungun was leading choruses of younglings' practically shouting out every youngling's song known to the galaxy. The enthusiastic yet screeching sound of it all hurt his ears. There was cheering and giddy dancing, an all around good time for the young.

Then, for some reason, the Giant Jolly Togorian appeared on screen and joined in the fun. There were creatures in blindingly bright colours that set up a large cauldron of some sort and started pouring water and soap into it, creating a mass of bubbles arising out of it, giving off the appearance of rapidly boiling water. They started chanting about wanting to jump in and join in the fun of a boiling bubble bath- for some reason or another. Wes was confused, very confused- and not only for the reason as to why he had ended up with more younglings' holos.

"Let's get bubbling. Let's have some fun with bubbles. Bubbles are fun, fun in the sun. Bubbles are what we love." The colourful little creatures chanted and sang, over and over again.

"When do we want some fun in the bubbles?" the Giant Jolly Togorian shouted, obviously playing the role of master of ceremonies as the character often did in these holos.

"Now!"

"When will we get bubbles?" the silver furred master of ceremonies shouted again.

It was at that point that the infernal purple Gungun showed up and there seemed to be a pointless, energetic dance number with the gangly Blarney. Why they were dancing, Wes couldn't figure out but he somehow knew that any attempt to stop the show would result in nothing happening. In other words, his torture would continue until the holo had finished.

Finally, it reached the so-called high point. Blarney the Purple Gungun finished dancing and the creatures started to demand the right to bathe in the bath of bubbles once more. Surprisingly, even the typically good-natured and overly happy Gungun seemed a little irritated.

"Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!" the Gungun shouted, wearing a barely sincere smile on his face.

At that point, Janson saw the little creatures cheer and jump right into the bubble bath. And then there was more singing and dancing before the end credits began to roll up. It was over, it was finally over.

And along with a deep sense of déjà vu, Janson was actually far from amused. Wes found that he was annoyed, very annoyed and not in a good way. He had seen Blarney the Purple Gungun and the Giant Jolly Togorian in action before- in a prank.

And as with that realisation, he realised who had pranked him and why. The wheels in his head began to turn to plot yet another prank. The prank war was far from over.

Fin


End file.
